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Top Little Known Facts About Egypt

Most people know that Egypt is currently in chaos, but know very little about this historically-important country.  Here are the Top Interesting Facts About Egypt.

 

Egyptians are prone to violent outbursts if you question their faith, talk about their family, or ask for the time.

 

 

60% of its citizens hate America.  40% hate Israel.  And 100% hate "The Lone Ranger".

 

 

President Obama is closely monitoring it.  Just like our phone records!

 

 

The worst time to visit there is the summer.  The best time is never.

 

 

It's extremely dry and lifeless.  Like a Wes Anderson movie.

 

 

A popular pastime is soccer.  Followed closely by beheading Westerners.

 

 

As hard as it tries, it still doesn't hate Jews as much as Iran.

 

 

Their Muslim ruler was removed from office . . . which is something a lot of people wish would happen here.

 

 

A real mummy would beat the crap out of Brendan Fraser.

 

 

The Sphinx's nose didn't break off . . . it disintegrated due to excessive coke use.

 

 

With all the headdresses, crazy makeup and jewelry, even the dudes looked kind of like Lady Gaga.

 

 

The official state motto is "Human Rights, Schmuman Rights."

 

 

Egypt is the region's leading producer of wheat, corn and swarthiness.

 

 

Unlike their famously passive Middle Eastern neighbors, Egyptians can occasionally be argumentative.

 

 

Temperatures range from "hot" to "so insanely hot you want to accidentally lob grenades at peaceful protesters."

 

 

They don't allow gay marriage, but it's no big deal if you have two mummies.

 

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