WEASE SHOW NEWS & PICS

 

Top Signs Superman Is Gay

Top Signs Superman Is Gay

There have been rumors that Henry Cavill, who plays Superman in "Man of Steel", is gay.  Not that Henry's sexual orientation matters . . . but we wondered what it'd be like if his character was gay.  Here are the Top Signs Superman is Gay.

 

- Have you seen the Fortress of Solitude?  It's immaculate.

 

- Even though he was born over seventy years ago, he still looks like he's 28.  So obviously he moisturizes.

 

- He has two dads.

 

- As soon as he could, he got the hell out of Kansas.

 

- He gets weak-kneed around a pretty green crystal.

 

- He's buff.  And as we know, all buff dudes are gay.

 

- He keeps a secret life from his parents in the Midwest.

 

- The "S" on his chest stands for SASSY!

 

- He uses his X-ray vision to look through Jimmy Olsen's bike shorts.

 

- He's always standing in a sassy pose with his hands on his hips.

 

- No straight man wears that much Lycra.

 

- All those years hanging with Lois Lane and Wonder Woman and his throat is 100% cancer-free!


 

More Articles