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Top Signs Superman Is Gay

There have been rumors that Henry Cavill, who plays Superman in "Man of Steel", is gay.  Not that Henry's sexual orientation matters . . . but we wondered what it'd be like if his character was gay.  Here are the Top Signs Superman is Gay.

 

- Have you seen the Fortress of Solitude?  It's immaculate.

 

- Even though he was born over seventy years ago, he still looks like he's 28.  So obviously he moisturizes.

 

- He has two dads.

 

- As soon as he could, he got the hell out of Kansas.

 

- He gets weak-kneed around a pretty green crystal.

 

- He's buff.  And as we know, all buff dudes are gay.

 

- He keeps a secret life from his parents in the Midwest.

 

- The "S" on his chest stands for SASSY!

 

- He uses his X-ray vision to look through Jimmy Olsen's bike shorts.

 

- He's always standing in a sassy pose with his hands on his hips.

 

- No straight man wears that much Lycra.

 

- All those years hanging with Lois Lane and Wonder Woman and his throat is 100% cancer-free!


 

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